Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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