Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
