He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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