eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
