So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
