we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize