The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
