Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
