I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
