I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
