Apparently you make a good broom.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
