You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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