I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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