trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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