this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize