So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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