Joe is yelling at the trees again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
