Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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