Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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