he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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