You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
