you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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