Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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