No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
