we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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