I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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