Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize