the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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