Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
