Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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