erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
