At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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