My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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