Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
