ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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