You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
