I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
