what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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