I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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