she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
