If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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