just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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