I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
