Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
