Moan for me like Helen Keller
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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