oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
