hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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