Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
