i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
