"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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