i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
