Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
