i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize