oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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