I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
