his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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