Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
