please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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