Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
