So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
