so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
