Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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