the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm both gender and math confused
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
