Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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