You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Panties = found
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