You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize