unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
