therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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