Just mADE A PArabola og urine
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
